Don't Make Me Put a Check By Your Name

First things first: This. Is. College. This is NOT 13th grade. It is my expectation that you behave accordingly. These are my personal class rules. They are not suggestions. Following them will help ensure that everyone in the class enjoys an optimal learning environment and may spare you from blatant public humiliation, at which I am highly skilled.

Be prompt. Class begins at 8am. If you are not seated and prepared to begin at 8am, you are late. Period. The door will be locked very soon after class begins and latecomers will not be admitted. Yes, you paid to be here, but so did everyone else. Your tardiness disrupts the workflow of the rest of the group and as such is deemed unacceptable. If you cannot arrive in a timely fashion, seriously consider rescheduling your classes for later in the day or secure an occupation in a field that allows one to come and go as one pleases - if you can find one.

With the exception of a laptop computer to be used for note-taking, turn off all electronics and communication devices before entering the classroom. This includes, but is not limited to cellular telephones, Blackberries, pagers, iPods, PDAs, et cetera. If you are experiencing some life-altering emergency that cannot wait one hour and twenty minutes without communication, please go away and tend to that, as you will be unable to concentrate in class. You will still be responsible for course content for that day.

If you choose to use a laptop computer to take notes (not surf the internet, play solitaire or similarly unrelated pursuits), please mute the speakers and type quietly so that you do not disrupt the learning processes of others around you. It is not necessary to bang the keyboard as if playing "Whack-A-Mole."

This is not a picnic area. Do not eat in class. The sound of your Chee-tos bag rattling is distracting to others, as is the crunching, which has the added benefit of making one appear rather like that person in the cereal commercial who has no idea that he is being fired, and continues ignorantly chewing anyway. Just don't.

Pick up after yourself.

Respect one another. The scope of this course tends to open up long-standing debates about the nature of many concepts. Agree to disagree and move on. Life does not begin when everyone agrees with you.

If I am talking, you should be listening - and taking notes. There will be plenty of time for class interaction, but this is not the time for idle chitchat with your neighbors about who's dating whom, he said/she said, his baby mama, the price of corn or anything else. It is distracting and exceedingly rude. Unless you are experiencing spontaneous combustion or a limb has fallen off your body and you are gushing great gouts of blood all over the floor, it can wait until class is over. Offenders will be publicly humiliated by being openly directed to leave the room.

The Real World does not accept late work. Neither do I. There are no acceptable "reasons" for late work, only excuses. The full course schedule is posted online in this forum and everyone will have copies from the first day of class so there should be no surprises about what is due and when. If you are on your deathbed/having car trouble/sick kid/dead grandma/dog ate homework/ or whatever and cannot possibly bring your work to class, send it with a friend, email or fax it to me directly. I also use Yahoo! or Google chat when asked nicely. If your computer has failed, call me and give the answers over the phone or text message me. Use smoke signals if necessary - whatever it takes. A properly motivated person gets their work turned in on time.

We are now firmly in the 21st century. All word processing software comes with spell and grammar check. Use it before submitting any written work to me. I will stop grading at 5 spelling and/or grammatical errors and your grade will be considered based upon that amount of work, even if all 5 errors occur within your opening sentence.

You are responsible for all content included in the textbook, whether I specifically address it in class or not. The scope of this course is quite broad and cannot be fully addressed in the three hours per week we are allotted, so it will behoove you to thoroughly read the chapters and review the chapter-end review materials, vocabulary words, et cetera. Any or all of it could show up on an exam, so prepare accordingly. You are responsible for the material whether you are in attendance or not. You are also responsible for additional resources that are addressed in class, whether you are in attendance or not. If you miss a class, obtain notes from a class colleague, but prepare to return the favor or pay it forward. If you do not have friends, consult the class blog for course content for that day. Do NOT telephone, email, text message or otherwise contact me to ask, "What did we do in psych class today?" My answer will probably not be to your liking.

Every college course you take will include a "major project." This one is no different. The topic and scope of the project will be announced in class, then posted here. Presentations will be toward the end of the semester, during the last few class meetings before we review for the final exam. You may choose to do the project in groups of 2 to 4 or you may elect to complete it alone. If you choose a group project and have a "slacker" on your team, the entire team will be graded accordingly. Choose wisely.

There are several opportunities to earn extra credit. There will be 1-3 bonus questions on each exam, worth up to 5 points each, depending upon the difficulty of the bonus item. You may also bring in a relevant article to briefly present and discuss with the class for one extra credit point. Up to 10 points extra credit may be earned by performing community service, at the rate of one point per hour served. To claim community service points, please have the supervisor print a note on agency letterhead with their name and contact information, so that I may verify your service hours. This document may be turned after all 10 hours are served and is due no later than the last class day. No exceptions.

Finally, if you have ever seen me for psychotherapy, psychological assessment, or neuropsychological assessment, please keep it to yourself. I am not going to out you, so don't out yourself. If the outcome of your previous assessment was not to your liking, it is too late to do anything about it now. Take it up with the agency that ordered the assessment. They were the ones who made the final decision about the outcome.